Monday, August 24, 2009

A Special Place

Thank goodness... Dominick actually slept through the night last night! 7 p.m. to 4 a.m.! And he ate and went back to sleep until 6 a.m. I woke up several times to check on him, to make sure he was breathing. This was after a Saturday night when he woke up every hour on the hour! We're pretty sure his teeth are really bothering him. I was a walking zombie on Sunday. He didn’t nap well either on Sunday, but I think we’re back on track.

I’m even gladder (or it is, more glad?) that he slept well last night because he started day care this morning. We decided that day care was probably the best option on Mondays and Wednesdays. He goes to his Grammie (Frank’s Mom) on Tuesdays and he’s home with Daddy on Thursdays and Fridays. He has his mommy all to himself on the weekends.

I prepared everything as best I could, labeled every piece of clothing and each paci. I sent him with three. Just in case. He had extra crib sheets, his lovey, a special blanket that “smells” like mom… sniffle, sniffle…, lots of diapers and formula.

What I could not prepare for was how I felt leaving him today. I couldn’t help but cry. At least I held it until I reach the parking lot, but that was a challenge. I’m not sure why I cried. Am I worried that he won’t be taken care of? Well, no. Am I sad that he has to stay at a day care? Well, maybe. I think any mom is a little sad that her baby has to go to day care. He won’t get that one on one attention, maybe he’ll have to wait an extra 20/30 minutes before he get’s his diaper changed or his bottle or his nose wiped. To quote a good friend, “It is what it is.” It will just take some getting use to, for both of us.

We chose the day care that was associated with my job, until it was transferred to a new owner just recently. It’s called, A Special Place – and it truly is. The people are warm and friendly and he’s in a room with about four other babies this week. Next week when school starts, the number is up to 8 babies! There will be three women at all times to care for the babies.

I’ve known the director, Pam R. very well the past three years I’ve been with CSH. I’ve also worked with the day care staff on few projects. They’ve all been there 10, 15, years. Longevity at a work place speaks volumes. I’m confident he will be cared for and loved and every need attended to.

A wife of a coworker has brought her two boys there and they really like it. She even offered to "check in on Dominick" when she picks up her boys early. She says that the moms need to stick together and she'll text me with any updates. Too funny.

Ms. Pam is the head teacher in the infant room. She’s a tall African American woman with a sweet voice and knows how to take charge. Right when I arrived, she helped unpack all my bags and put everything where it needed to go. She said I did great filling out all the forms and filling them in on his tired signs and how to put him to sleep. Things that only a mother knows… well, now they need to know. Once I was unpacked, she held him and started to play. Dominick seemed content to just stare at her, at her dark skin, at her shiny earrings. Lots of earrings! The woman is brave to wear so much jewelry when working with infants. I think I counted seven, pretty large gold hoops and a few necklaces. Hey, maybe she knows it keeps them entertained.

So, I may stop by at lunch, or I may just wait it out until 4:30. Pam, the director, said she’s going to email me when she can. Ms. Pam, the teacher, said to call any time I wanted. But I don’t want to be a bother, I don’t want to be “that mom” who calls thirty times a day.

Dominick turns five months old today. Has it really been five months?

Today is one of Dominick’s first firsts. Starting day care… sniffle, sniffle, I’ll get through this. I’m sure it’s harder for me than it is for him.

Where are the tissues?

Tuesday, August 18, 2009


Have you ever done something you really regret... something that is life changing and you think you're doing for the good of your family? Well... I'm struggling with this now. I wont go into details, because frankly, it's awful.

So please pray for me and my family.

I hope things work out.

I hope I can stop crying.

I hope time really does heal all wounds.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Getting In a Groove

I’ve been back at work for just over a month and I’m starting to feel like I’ve found my groove as a working mom. The first couple of weeks were a bit hairy.

This is how my mind works… I worry about figuring out how to get ready with an infant wanting my attention. How to get Dominick to the grandmas’ houses in enough time for me to make it to work by 8 a.m.! I know, it’s crazy early. Make sure Dominick has all the supplies he needs in his go bag. Making sure the stroller comes with and bumbo seat and the teething rings. And finding the confidence to know I can get all of these things done, and not to forget anything too important. Like bringing the baby to the wrong grandma’s house! I’ve actually headed in the wrong direction a few times.

Now, we have a set schedule. We’re up and out by 6:45 every day and I pick Dominick up at the respective grandma’s house and home we go for bottle, bath and bed. Maybe if I get home early enough, we have some play time.

I do cherish that time with him after work. It’s mommy and Dominick time. We laugh, we act silly, and we cuddle. It’s so great.

I’m in a great place today probably because I had a decent night’s sleep last night. That means, four consecutive hours. I know, not my typical 8-9 hours I was used to getting! I have a feeling that won’t change for many years to come.

I’ve been blessed that my baby loves to sleep! Little guy takes at least three naps a day. Sometimes that last for two – three hours! He’s down for the night by 7 p.m. and wakes for a feeding between 3 and 4 a.m. like clockwork. Then he’s back to sleep until 6:30 a.m. when we leave for work. I couldn’t ask for more than that! He goes a really long stretch, 8 hours at night with out eating. We’re hoping we lose the late night feed and he sleeps through the night soon. A ma’ma can hope, can’t she?

Most nights he wakes up if he looses his paci – so it’s a quick run into the nursery to plug him back up, then back to sleep with a few pats on the bottom. I wake up when Frank does his late night feeding. When I hear him crying for his bottle; I’m thinking, what is Frank doing to soothe him, why is he still crying? I know Frank’s doing his best, but I still think about these things, and it keeps me up.

All in all, I’m feeling much more confident about being a working mom.

And I love being a mom.

Friday, August 7, 2009

Had a Little Work Done

This may be TMI, but a tale definitely worth telling.

I had an infected, ingrown toe nail. I know, disgusting! I’m pretty sure I picked it up from a nail salon in town. I tried to self medicate and did many a soaks in Epson salts. To no avail, it was getting worse, so I made an appointment with a podiatrist.

I went into the doc’s office thinking he’ll fix me up, clean out the gunk and I’d be on my way with an antibiotic cream or something… no, no, no. That’s not how it happened at all! He proceeds to tell me that he has to remove the entire left side of my toe nail. WHAT?! Are you kidding me? Now, I’m not squeamish – I’ve seen it all! Heck, I’ve been through a lot myself with several broken bones and a partial finer amputation. So you’d think I could handle a little in office procedure. But when it comes to feet and nails – I am a completely different person. It just skeeves me out at the mere thought of lifting up a nail… oh… I just got the shivers.

The doc assures me that it won’t hurt a bit. He’ll numb me up and I won’t feel a thing. Well, what he didn’t tell me is that he was going to jab me countless times, injecting this numbing medication deep into my foot that burns really bad. It was awful. I think I may have screamed at one point. The nurse comes over to me and says, “breath honey, breath” I wanted to tell her to get lost, she’s not the one getting her foot stuck like a pin cushion!

Once I was good and numb – I couldn’t watch. I literally covered my eyes. I’m pretty sure that he just cut up the side of my nail and ripped it off! I can’t even write about it with out feeling sick.

When all was said and done, he wraps my toe and asks me if I like modern art. Thinking to myself, what the hell is this guy asking me this for, now! After what he just put me through?

All I could muster was, “no… not really.”

“Well how about faces?” he says.

He gets out his blue marker and proceeds to draw a smiley face on my big bandaged toe. I couldn’t help but laugh. And I think that was his intention.

On the way out, I had to make an appointment and the ladies at the desk were looking at me a little funny. So I said, yes, that was me – the screamer in room 2. We all started laughing. I needed that!

So the lesson of today, to avoid horrific, medieval torture - make sure you cut your toe nails straight across and be wary of seedy looking nail salons.